Back to it. Are Republicans a team or not? Because if not, then let the Hunger Games begin. The state is about to go bankrupt. Bankrupt, I say! Republicans need everyone to bring their best and offer something. And stop it. If you want the party to be a bunch of WASPs, the memory of that is outlined in chalk.
Sheriff Bianco, Republicans have an unsolved 187 on the Republican Party dating back to 1994. Lt. Oscar Martinez — maybe LA County Sheriff number 35 — can you help clue them in? Number 33, Alex Newhouse? Number 34, Mr. Moon? Democrats and OJ got away with crimes committed in 1994, if they did it. Republicans, however, still haven’t recovered from 1994’s Proposition 187. I honestly can’t believe Prop 187 was named that because it was the 187th ballot proposal.
What is/was Prop 187? Here is what Google says:
Proposition 187, passed by California voters in 1994, was a ballot initiative that aimed to deny public services, including non-emergency healthcare, public education (K-12 and higher), and social services, to undocumented immigrants, while requiring officials to report suspected undocumented individuals. Nicknamed the ‘Save Our State’ (SOS) initiative, it was a landmark anti-immigrant measure that became a focal point during a recession, but it was ultimately blocked by federal courts as unconstitutional, transforming California politics and galvanizing immigrant communities.
Why hasn’t the Republican Party recovered since ’94? Because Republicans have been dead in the Hispanic community — roughly 40 percent of the state — ever since. My Spanish as a Mexican American is almost purely academic, but I learned what la migra meant in 1994, playing soccer at lunch as an elementary kid with newer arrivals.
I thought it meant “run faster.” What it actually meant was that the chances of winning that generation of church-going Catholic Hispanics — some of the most classically right-wing people I’ve ever met, whose tías save birthday cake in the freezer for next year and cut 1” x 1” slices — would be slim for Republicans three decades later.
The O.J. Simpson trial was the most significant event of my childhood, especially that moment, and I suspect much of the sensationalism of the trial swept the importance of Prop 187 under the rug. Meanwhile, these guys in the Hispanic communities of California make Millili look emo and have Nayib Bukele’s worldview right here in California. They grew up on Deftones, Rage Against the Machine, and gangster rap — and they mean it. They don’t vote, or they default Democrat because their wives fill out the ballot. I don’t know why that is. I just know that it is.
Statistically, Democratic Hispanic women win these seats disproportionately in Hispanic neighborhoods like the one I grew up in — unless there is a Hispanic male on the ballot, or by some miracle, a Republican Hispanic male with machismo who is funded on par with the Democrat. Otherwise, it’s tough to win. Sweet baby Jesus may come before Republicans see a candidate funded on par with Democrats in a “blue” district. Maybe I’m ignorant. Search it up.
Seriously, enough with the “they didn’t do well, see-eeeee…” when they had zero funding, zero help from Republicans, and oftentimes anti-help. When they approach you in a dark central committee parking lot after an election — because you ran for office — after they posted anti-Hispanic propaganda, they’ll say something like, “I’m not racist, my great-grandfather was Argentinian!” Don’t act shocked. They’re Christians, though. So no need to worry.
Even some of these candidates, running against mountains of money — greenbacks that ultimately matter more than ethnic or racial demographics — still pulled over 40 percent of the vote. Imagine if they had help.
Smile. It’s Cargile in the 35th Congressional District, fighting that fight.
Mathematically, Republicans have not won a Hispanic-majority district with a non-Hispanic candidate more than a handful of times in any legislative race, federal or state, this century — technically, this millennium. And I’m not talking about a normal hand. I’m using the hand of Joaquín Murrieta’s right-hand man, Three-Finger Jack.
I wonder why Republicans can’t win those races? Search it up, as Gen Alpha says — and wait for the little Alphas. I coach these kids. It’s all in their name. The Republican Party has not made it easy. Most aren’t even asking for easy — just some help, so they don’t have to do everything Han Solo.
And Republicans always say they love history. Okay. What would Don Pío Pico say — an early CAGOP influencer in the Hispano community? Or HispanX? If Republicans don’t get the music playing soon, the party is over, and you’re going to eat what the Democrats feed you — you already are — and it’s OreX cookies from now on, you bigot!
How badly would Francisco P. Ramírez have scolded his fellow Republicans in his newspaper El Clamor Público? Leonard Pitt quotes Ramírez observing that “All Democrats…condemned Latin Americans and Negroes because of the incidental conditions of their birth.” During the 1850s, Ramírez noted Democrats actively ran Hispanic-surnamed candidates, but when five seats were up for grabs, no more than two would ever be Hispanic. A governor? Nope. Does this silent approach still exist in the Democratic Party? No? Sarcasm. Democrats, for all their flaws, are smart — politically.
Where is the Hispanic gubernatorial candidate treated like Gavin Newsom, Katie Porter, or Eric Swalwell? Each has serious scars, yet they’ll still get another shot. Why? Democrats prioritize winning. They don’t demand perfection. But if you’re going to work for Newsom, don’t have a hot wife. If you work for Porter, get out of her phucking shot and no potatoes for dinner. Swalwell — I’ll stop here. In California politics, life is simply easier as a Democrat.
I don’t follow what people say — only what they do. I once heard, “Endorsements are for the peasants.” Too soon? But is it true, tho’? What would Romualdo Pacheco say to a Republican Party that hasn’t found his successor 150 years later? I always thought that could be me — but I am potatoes au gratin (oops — persona non grata). Pacheco had to relearn Spanish after years in Hawaii. His Spanish was probably about as good as mine.
I digress.
Republicans saw how no one was excited for Prop 50 — especially those under fifty, those in the Hispanic community, and those never approached. Canvassing the Orange County coast in a sweater vest with a hot blonde, caramel macchiato with an extra shot of espresso isn’t going to cut it, mijas. Being on X clearly isn’t working either. And don’t make me call out mamacitas who act “about it” online but don’t donate to the causes they claim to lead in the California GOP. By the way, the person you ghosted was supposed to be an alley-oop — that person has a massive YouTube channel. Bigger than yours. Untapped. Outreach. Bridge burned.
Okay. I haven’t had my coffee.
Here is the truth. Republicans need two candidates to win the primary for Governor, or Republicans will not win. Republicans need as many people excited to vote as possible, or Republicans win nothing. Republicans need a bench. Debate your candidates. Show why GOP ideas are better. Free speech. Big tent. Find and platform people willing to run in blue territory — Congress, Assembly, Senate, anything. The tents in homeless camps are already bigger than the Republican Party’s tent, and that is a problem. Their tents are more numerous — and they don’t even fit the elephant, that big elephant in the room.
Otherwise, what I predict will happen is this: Gen Z and Millennial Republicans will take over this little party. These cats — middle- and working-class Republicans — are, as the kids say, BASED. No cap. They will not play by the old rules. No decorum. And once they put you on the ropes, I predict no quarter.
Republicans already saw glimpses of this in Anaheim 2025. Instafamous.
That’s what’s happening in the Democratic Party right now: Zoran. AOC. Scott Wiener. Jake Levine. Eric Jones. Younger, louder, relentless. The sentiment among young Democrats is “vote out all incumbents over a certain age,” as CalMatters notes. Who fits that bill on the Republican side? Darrell Issa.
Issa tried to flee to Texas — but there was no running from Yautja, right, Governor Schwarzenegger? “Do it! Do it! Kill me, I’m here!”
Issa didn’t leave for Texas. Thank the Lord.
“I’m not giving up on California,” Issa told the AP, hoping his colleagues wouldn’t give up either. Yeah. Republicans have a republic to save.
But Father Time is undefeated. And I’ll tell you this: among my students and friends hovering around forty — the average age of California — the sentiment mirrors young Democrats. Vote out incumbents over a certain age. “Why vote for Prop 50? Gotta save who?” They will show up for a real invitation to a real party.
Or you can keep curating candidates like a caviar-and-wine tasting — oh dawww-ling — and continue not feeding the base the red meat and potatoes they want. Red meat. Potatoes. Get fancy if you must — elite, even — potatoes au gratin.
It’s that simple.
Maybe.
P.S. If nobody ever reads this, let this stand as a primary source of the moment many Americans realized something fundamental was breaking, and that the choice to act still existed. And if the republic collapsed, I’m sorry, I tried. :’ (
Bibliography | Notes
“California Rangers Kill Joaquín Murrieta | July 25, 1853.” History.com. Accessed December 26, 2025. https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/july-25/california-rangers-kill-joaquin-murrieta.
Miller, Maya C. “Young California Democrats Are Challenging Veteran House Members in Safe Blue Seats.” CalMatters, November 28, 2025. https://calmatters.org/politics/2025/11/congress-young-dem-challengers/.
Fisher, Kevin. “Why a California GOP Congressman Chose Not to Move to Texas.” AP News, December 5, 2025. https://apnews.com/article/issa-congress-redistricting-california-texas-b1ed3b757886cffa9eaa661e2d03b228.