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“What important beings are we historians! We are the sovereign censors who decide upon the renown or infamy of our fellow mortals — we are the benefactors of kings — we are the guardians of truth — we are the scourgers of guilt — we are the instructors of the world — we are — in short, what we are not!”
Diedrich Knickerbocker
A famous fictional Dutch-American historian and narrator created by author Washington Irving for his satirical 1809 book, A History of New York.
Chapters
…and coming soon.
“The Republican Circus,” The Republican Papers, no. 1 (2026).
“A History of Prop 13: Get Rid of It,” The Republican Papers, no. 2 (2026).
“GOP Governor in California: Part I, Split the Vote!,” The Republican Papers, no. 3 (2026).
“Debate: Do California Republican Votes Count?” The Republican Papers, no. 4 (2026).
“GOP Governor in California: Part II, Unsolved 187!,” The Republican Papers, no. 5 (2026).
“Why Democrats WIN in California,” The Republican Papers, no. 6 (2026).
“How Politics Found Me, Part I: Cool Democrats,” The Republican Papers no. 7 (2026).
“Debate: The Problem in American Politics,” The Republican Papers, no. 8 (2026).
“Should Our Legislators Have a College Degree?” Alta Historian, no. 9 (2026).
“How Politics Found Me, Part II: California High-Speed Rail,” Alta Historian, no. 10 (2026).
“Housing: California was a Success of Epic Proportion,” Alta Historian, no. 11 (2026).
“California Water: Thirsty for No Reason,” Alta Historian, no. 12 (2026).
“Black Panthers: Alt-Right California?” Alta Historian, no. 13 (2026).
“We should build more warehouses in Riverside County…,” Alta Historian, no. 14 (2026).
The Alta Historian
I wrote this series for you: those who inflict self-harm with California Republican Politics, like movie quotes, love history, storytelling, pop culture, or autobiographical accounts. I also wrote it for all you who dislike any of these things — read every word — and suffer (and I put that em dash there, NOT AI).
But, if you do happen to fit into one of the aforementioned interest descriptors, or many, please enjoy! If there is something you don’t get, move on…that part wasn’t written for you. Just live your truth. Life’s too short. Be sure to read the disclaimer below.
And please, take advice from one of the most repeated quotes in the history of humanity…
“Permanecer sentados, por favor.”
Disclaimer
If any of these articles by the Alta Historian sting, good. You still have feelings in your political undercarriage, and what was said had some hint of truth. Now face your fears, drop your biases, and return to your civic duty: engage with what is going on.
Our state is about to go bankrupt.